Burnout and The Journey Back to Myself

This month’s blog post is a little heavier and something deeply personal. I wasn’t sure if I should share it at first—but during the time I went through this chapter in my life, I truly believed I was the only one experiencing it. What helped me most was hearing from others who had been through something similar. Just knowing I wasn’t alone gave me so much comfort and hope. It reminded me that what I was going through was temporary, and that the universe wouldn’t give me something I wasn’t strong enough to handle.

Growing up, I was generally risk-averse and a bit of a worrier at times, but I never thought of myself as someone with anxiety. A little worry here and there felt normal—maybe even helpful at times. But in October 2022, something shifted. I started feeling constantly on edge. I’d experience intense waves of anxiety multiple times a day. My body would shake, I’d sweat, and I couldn’t seem to settle myself. My mind spiralled with worst-case scenarios, and it felt like I was using every ounce of energy just to hold myself together. I started waking up in the middle of the night with night terrors, and almost every morning I’d feel a heavy dread in my chest.

I had never experienced anything like it before—and I worried I was broken. It went on for months. I left my job not long after, because I was having panic attacks so frequently that I had to hide in the bathroom just to breathe through them. At its worst—about six to eight months later—I was experiencing panic and terror attacks every day. My mind constantly saw danger everywhere, even within myself. It was the most frightening and disorienting time of my life.

Although I’m still finding my way back to myself, life feels good again. I feel like me again. I’ve come through to the other side—stronger, softer, and more compassionate than I’ve ever been. But during those dark times, I had never felt so lost or afraid that I'd never come back.

Looking back, I can see now that I was in deep, prolonged burnout. For over 15 years, I had been functioning on four hours of sleep, pushing my body to its limits in an effort to “get it all done”—work, hobbies, exercise, chores, everything. My days didn’t have enough hours, so I tried to steal time from my body instead.

But the body always keeps the score.

Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It builds quietly, gradually, and the early signs are easy to miss—especially if we’re disconnected from our bodies. Bonnie Christine describes it as walking blindfolded toward the edge of a cliff. You don’t know you’ve hit burnout until you’ve already gone over—and when it hits, it’s like being hit by a bus.

It’s now been three years since that period began, and I’ve learned so much about myself and the healing process. I’ve gathered tools, practices, and insights along the way—and I wanted to share them here, in this little corner of the internet, in case it brings even a little comfort, hope, or inspiration to someone else.

I’m truly on the other side now, with more clarity, love, and compassion than I’ve ever known. Here are some of the things and learnings that helped me find my way:

The Mind And Body Are Connected

"The mind and body work together as one. When the body doesn’t feel safe, it sends signals to the brain—so the thoughts we experience often reflect the body's state. Realizing this brought a huge sense of relief; I began paying less attention to the thoughts themselves and more to what my body might be trying to communicate through them. This connection goes both ways: physical tension or ailments can also stem from the mind. When we’re stressed, overwhelmed, or mentally cluttered, the body releases cortisol and other stress hormones, which can manifest as illness, tightness, or pain. Caring for both our mind and body is essential. When either tries to communicate with us, it’s not a curse—it’s a gift. These signals offer guidance and invite us to take meaningful action by nurturing both aspects of our well-being.

Emotions Travel Faster Than Thoughts

By the time a thought arises, the emotional reaction has already occurred. Emotions are processed before cognitive thought, meaning we feel before we can rationalize. The heart registers rhythmic patterns that reflect our emotional state, and these signals are then transmitted to the brain and throughout the body. This ties in with the paragraph above—our thoughts often mirror the emotional state the body is experiencing. It's helpful to view our thoughts not as absolute truths or identities, but as indicators of how we’re feeling, providing insight rather than definition.

The Heart’s Power — Literally and Emotionally

When I learned about the power of the heart, I used this knowledge to help me through some of the toughest times. The heart has its own intelligence and a complex nervous system, containing at least forty thousand neurons. It also generates the strongest rhythmic electromagnetic field in the human body. In fact, the heart’s electrical field is 60 times greater in amplitude than the brain's, and its magnetic field is about 100 times more powerful.

Traditionally, it was believed that the brain was the command centre, sending instructions to the heart. While the brain does communicate with the heart, research shows that the heart has its own form of logic and may not always comply. Interestingly, when the heart sends signals to the brain, the brain not only understands but obeys.

When we experience core heart feelings—such as gratitude, appreciation, care, and compassion—the heart’s rhythm becomes more coherent. This coherence triggers a cascade of neural and biochemical responses that positively affect the entire body. It reduces activity in the sympathetic nervous system (our stress response) and enhances the parasympathetic system (our rest-and-digest state). During moments of anxiety, panic attacks, or night terrors, I would practice breathing slowly into my heart space while focusing on someone I’m grateful for. Gratitude and anxiety cannot coexist, and this simple shift often helped calm my body and bring me back to safety. Knowing that I had something this powerful within me became a lifeline.

Awareness and Presence as Anchors

In times when we feel on edge or weighed down by dense emotions, it's easy to ruminate and to get lost in our thoughts or wish we were in a different emotional state than the one we’re experiencing. But emotions are fleeting. As the saying goes, “every storm runs out of rain,” and the same is true for our thoughts and feelings.

When thoughts arise, instead of clinging to them or attaching them to our identity, we can take a step back and observe. If we see the thought simply as a cloud drifting through the sky of our awareness without judgment, it lightens the emotional load and reduces its impact.

With awareness and presence, we can ground ourselves in the here and now. This breaks the stream of overthinking and redirects our attention to the present moment and the world around us. In doing so, we create space to move through our emotional state without spiralling or becoming overwhelmed.

Back to Basics: Rest, Nourishment, and Mindfulness

During the year I took off, I immersed myself in practices that helped calm my nervous system. Without the demands of work, I had space to explore mindfulness in a deeper way with some of my meditations lasting up to two hours. I committed to 45-minute yoga sessions each day and made it a point to move my body through exercise daily.

These mindfulness practices taught me so much. Movement helped me shift heavy, dense emotions, while meditation brought me face to face with my thoughts. At the time, meditating felt scary as my inner world was bombarded with dark and negative thoughts. But I realized that avoiding them only gave them more power. Instead, I chose to sit with them, observe them with compassion, and meet them with presence. Yoga, on the other hand, helped me work through tension stored in my body and brought a deep sense of relaxation.

I also incorporated gratitude journaling and morning pages into my routine. These helped lift my mood and clear my mind of any repetitive or anxious thoughts.

Alongside these inner practices, I made it a priority to get at least eight hours of sleep each night, nourish my body with healthy food, spend time in the sun, and keep up with my multivitamins. It became a personal mission to nurture my mind and body in the most supportive way possible.

While I no longer practice to the same extent, these rituals still ground me today. A 10-minute meditation, a short yoga session, or a few moments of gratitude journaling can completely shift the energy of my day—especially now that I’m in a much more balanced and peaceful place.

Emotions Are Essentially Sensations

When I was feeling anxious, on edge, or sad, my instinct was always to make it stop. I’d distract myself just to avoid feeling it. But over time, I began to understand that the full emotional spectrum—both light and heavy—is what makes us human. No emotion lasts forever unless we cling to it or let our thoughts fuel and prolong it.

Instead of labelling emotions as good or bad, I’ve learned to step back and see them for what they really are: sensations passing through the body. When I started observing them this way, I found a sense of presence even in the middle of difficult feelings.

Rupert Spira describes anxiety as just a sensation—no different, in essence, from the sensation of touching a microphone. It’s not something we need to fight or resist, but something we can simply notice. When we allow ourselves to experience an emotion fully, without judgment or fear, it moves through us rather than getting stuck.

The Journey Isn't Linear

Along the way, I had some good days—only to be met with difficult ones soon after. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and I found myself growing frustrated. I had thoughts like “Why am I not better yet? It’s been months—why am I still struggling? I’m fine. I’m over it. I’m not making any progress. I’m going backwards.” 

But in hindsight, the journey was never meant to be linear. Progress was happening, even when I couldn’t see it. Every single day I showed up for myself—whether it was through rest, movement, reflection, or meditation through a hard moment I was moving forward. Even on the hardest days, there was an unshakable belief that I’d make it through. "She believed she could, so she did." That belief was strong enough to keep me going.

If I could tell my earlier self one thing, it would be to honour how long the journey might be. Healing takes time. Some days will feel heavy, but that doesn’t mean you're not growing. We often expect healing to be a straight line—but the truth is, the path twists and turns. But with every step, you're nurturing the seed of your own resilience and becoming the healthier version of yourself, little by little.

You Are Not Alone and the Power of Community

During this journey, I often felt incredibly alone at first. Whenever I tried to open up to my immediate family, partner, or friends, I was met with little more than a nod or a subtle shift in the conversation. It felt like no one truly understood what I was going through and I believed I was alone in my struggles. That’s when I began reaching out to others — listening to those who were on a similar journey or working with anxiety.

I immersed myself in blogs, books, and podcasts. And slowly, I realized I wasn’t alone. So many others were going through the same thing, some even silently. Hearing others share their journeys reminded me that I wasn’t broken—I was just in the wrong circle. I needed to find my community, and in doing so, I found connection, understanding, and comfort.

Helpful Resources That Guided Me on My Journey

I came across countless resources—some were more helpful than others, and some led me down detours I later had to retrace. I spent a considerable amount of time exploring spirituality, but one key lesson I’ve learned is that it’s easy to get stuck in a mindset of constantly feeling like you "need to heal" or that there’s more to uncover about yourself. But the truth is, suffering and struggle are often temporary. Once you reach a better place, there's no need to keep searching for answers or healing. As Alan Watts wisely said, "When you get the message, hang up the phone."

Here are some of the most impactful resources that helped me along the way:

• The HeartMath Solution (Book) by Howard Martin & Lew Childre

• The Power of Now (Book) by Eckhart Tolle

• A New Earth (Book) by Eckhart Tolle

• Eckhart Tolle YouTube Channel

• Yoga with Adrienne YouTube Channel

• Rupert Spira YouTube Channel

• Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube Channel

Closing Thoughts

If you’re reading this and find yourself in the middle of your own storm, I hope these words remind you that you are not alone—and that healing is possible. There’s no single path back to yourself, and no perfect timeline for recovery. But little by little, with presence, compassion, and care, you’ll find your way. You are already doing the work by showing up, even on the hard days. Be patient with yourself. Trust in your strength. And know that every step you take—no matter how small—is a step forward. You are not broken. You are becoming.